The Social Hierarchy

Consider this a follow-up to my last blog, a part-two of sorts. I will begin at following my last statement as we get into the hierarchy. It happens with any group of people in an organized institution. It exists in our workplaces, our government, our prisons, our families and yes, our public schools.

What I’ve seen in a span of much research is much, very much a pyramid with layers. The bottom consists of the outcasts, the marginalized ones, very close candidates for the victim. The next layer may be the the rebellious ones; the ones who have close friends not really concerned about social status. And we go up another layer to maybe the intelligent, very content to be the top of the class and very successful one day. And then, another layer, possibly the start of what some may be considered, “cool,” but not all the way there yet. The start of the aggressors might be showing their faces here until we close in on “the elite.” Oh yes, “the Elite”- the very top layer (a few more layers may be in-between the aforementioned tiers) You can assure the popular, the “elite,”the ones who everyone wishes they could be. They seem to be the athletic, the all-powerful, get all the dates, and might even pull decent grades to ensure that scholarship. The ones who can do no wrong. You see, here is where no one maybe chooses to look because who would need to dominate at this level, but they do. Many aggressors, abusers, tormentors reside right here, and may feel obligated to harrass or punish those below. This is where the danger lies. Remember Columbine. Many of Dylan Kliebold and Eric Harris’ tormentors were jocks or “white caps”at the top of the pyramid. And more than one eyewitness stated matter-of-fact, Dylan and Eric were the bottom; nobody would go near them, or be friends with them. As I stated before, this power deferential is dangerous and leads,  if perpetuated, to fatal consequences. This school shooting has been a model and pattern of all others that followed. All of these victims(the most disempowered) felt the same contempt for their tormentors(the ones who held all the power), even though, they took the wrong drastic measures in the end. The rage and desperation and continued warnings led them all to the same helplessness which manifested into a hatred and “no regard for any human life,” even their own.

So, what do I think of all this? I can say I took a journey through at least two of these levels on the pyramid. And you can either accept your place, or just not care. There is a third option: to ascend from your current status. How does one do that? Well, I will bring up the bystander one more time. You can observe someone’s rotten behavior of one above you abusing one beneath you. Even celebrate it, make a video of it; be the bully cheerleader, and you just might make it like a contestant on a game show. You making someone else’s life miserable might give you notoriety, and with social media it’s almost just too easy nowadays. One Quora opinion suggests by being this cruel “you can outrank them by demeaning them.” If they had any type of strength or resistance or compassion, they could stand up for that poor kid. They’d rather ascend rank, and attain some notoriety. The notice I took is with other countries such as Ghana and China where bullying is nothing short of deplorable; there is community and morality. In Western culture a dreaded pyramid appears with what seems like a brook with alligators dividing each layer, and few bridges that you are able to cross. It becomes so disgusting(from my own experience) if someone on the bottom rungs tells a hilarious joke it will be considered stupid or pointless to someone at “the top.” If an elite tells something much less original, dumb and with enough force; everyone  laughs, including the teacher. You know why you laugh, and laugh hysterically? Because you’re afraid; you rather die than be considered “not with it,” or unpopular. Or you don’t want to lose face, or risk getting it removed from your skull. That’s not the way I ever wanted to be; equal opportunity, baby.

But there is a sad truth to all of this. What years of genetic programming has proved, “being nice will get you killed.” Bullies will never have a need to be reformed if you look at what payoffs are at the zenith of the grand high school pyramid. The bigger you are, the more savage you are(you ready for this) you receive more mating opportunities. This makes you more dominant, more attractive to the opposite sex. So, more dates, more sex, more to do whatever you please; the more fear, pain and damage you can inflict on other people. Great! Moreso, “bullying suggests genetic programming (the desire to mate and copulate) is stronger than our social programming”(the desire to show empathy and cooperate with others) Our culture is so skewed in this direction, it’s a runaway train. Why would you want to stop? Ever. In my opinion, teachers don’t want to stop this behavior because either they “secretly” want to be like their popular students, or two, they don’t have a clue to stop them. Or a even a third scenario, the teacher is also a bully contributing to the victim’s plight. So, they ignore, do nothing, blame shift; do anything but face the truth. Appease, appease, appease, right? Well, fascist dictators start small, don’t they? If no one stops them, guess what; they keep going until they reach global domination! And some of these people teach history. No one wants to be held accountable(Not discrediting all teachers, there are teachers that are genuine and worthy of respect, but the majority of how I’ve seen bullying play out in a classroom and hallway is mentioned above)

What we can’t forget when talking about our hierarchy is two plain simple truths I will keep reiterating: “The person being bullied has done nothing wrong, and therefore, is a victim. Two, “the person being punished Has done Something Wrong, and is Responsible For the Wrong Behavior.” Unless, of course you are in the upper echelons of the hierarchy where white is black, and black is white. Where the innocent are wrong, and the guilty are free. We cannot lose sight of the truth. Because those inside it cannot see it. It’s the water they drink, the air around them. Parkland High School you’re seeing from the outside now. Those inside don’t see what really is going on, or see other contributing factors (that one girl, Angelica Mansfield who spoke up for the bullied victims was the exception).

https://www.lightworkers.com/students-powerful-anti-bullying-speech/

Remember I said bullies have low self-esteem, but a projected “high” self-esteem, or “selfish-esteem.” It’s ego, false confidence, glib charm and grandiosity. At the very core call bullies what they are: sociopaths (learned abusive behavior; psychopaths are born this way) and narcissists. You don’t believe me? I have researched many hours on this topic and every similarity is overwhelmingly striking. A narcissist is really much like an addict: “addicted to the drug rush of seeing someone in pain.” What Dr. George Simon(who I’ve listened to many hours) calls A Character Disturbance. One beautiful example is his description of a cat in its predator state. When a cat sees a pitbull crossing the street from a porch. He begins to hiss, his back arches, his fur raises, his claws are exposed and his teeth are bared. Inside he’s deathly afraid. This is not the bully predator. Now a difference when he sees a mouse. He is sneaky, showing no sign of fear or disturbance. Quietly, he approaches his target, almost toying until he strikes at the most available moment. And he doesn’t attack with fear inside. He is cold and emotionless; knowing his prey can do nothing to him. This behavior can be likened to a bully attacking his victim with sadistic joy and derision. He thrives on this weakness to prove his all-out dominance(to even send a message and reinforce if there are witnesses around. Don’t mess with me, or this could happen to you)The narcissist’s needs are his own. It almost troubles him, disgusts him that his victim doesn’t fight back. It’s a sick, twisted game. When the drug wears off he needs a more violent reaction or exercise of destruction to get a better high. The narcissist only cares about what he needs. What the victim’s weakness will be exposed on exhibition, so he doesn’t have to look at his hollow core. Everything is expressed as an external projection of hatred, shame and vitriol. Filling the narcissist’s ego is the only importance, and you, the bystander, the audience only feeds this egocentricity. It’s an electric current he runs on completely. “The victim’s suffering; only the narcissist’s suffering matters.” Herein, lies the problem. Stop feeding the narcissist, stop making this culture, our culture the sun we revolve around.

If this hierarchy was the one in Finland, we would see a different dynamic. The pyramid is turned on its side. “Bullying is a group process to eradicate not perpetuate.” Students step in to surround a child being harrassed and tormented. They do not “reinforce the bullies.” The teachers, the administrators are all on the same page. There are no bystanders only defenders in the KiVa program where money is actually invested in protecting the students. Finland has had 3 school shootings since 1989. In Nova Scotia, Canada teachers and even pediatricians report incidents of bullying before they reach such levels we have where countless kids endure abuse from the time they are nine to seventeen. In Chile and Switzerland students stand when teachers enter the classroom. There is respect lacking in our culture for each other and for adults. Bullying is coined in the US as “a general disorder” not a rite of passage by those seeing us from the outside. The hierarchy needs to change; it needs to be smashed apart and dismantled. How many school shootings and incidents of since Columbine? If you see the US school shooting timeline since 1900 about one shooting a year every few years until you reach 1999. In 19 years without counting strictly I counted 223 school shootings, and that’s not counting how many casualties. I’m not counting the amount of suicides or bullycides(suicides due to excessive bullying) either.

So I ask you. Who sees this epidemic now? Is it more than you thought? Is it a gun issue? I say no. Is it a mental health issue? Psychological studies say about 7% of mentally ill people commit acts of violence on others. They’re more likely to be victims of violence. To me the entire problem is an internal one or lack of internal regard for others. The problem is within. We need to break apart this hierarchy, and not be so easily led. It begins inside, fixing what has been damaged in our souls, our hearts, our institutions: our social hierarchy. It’s what’s favored and given the most voice in our society: the loudest, the most ignorant, and the most vicious. For the bully who needs to be disarmed, and the victim who needs to be empowered; a better balance needs to be found. Where the diminishing of one won’t lead to the pent up aggression to kill someone else. The weapon is “not” the issue.

The point is to level the hierarchy into equal, joining parts: an even playing field. I personally would like to see the top levelled. I’m not asking for us all to get along, or fights and disagreements to never occur. That’s not life. That’s not realistic. I know utopia is a pretty naive concept and construct to fathom. All I’m asking for is an equal chance for everyone to achieve their own dreams safely and without interference and repeated, unchecked abuse. We don’t all have to get along, but we all can work together as a community. Pyramid can slide off layer by sedimentary layer until we’re all standing on the same ground. How’s that for a paradigm shift?